Loving Ourselves When Things End
Hello Friends,
Last week, we made the difficult decision to end one of our groups. Making decisions like this is always excruciating for us, even when we believe it is the proper action to take. Since then, we’ve been thinking about endings: their impact on our lives and what steps we can take to make things a little easier.
When you experience an ending, make sure to give yourself the support you need, which may include reaching out to a coach or counselor.
Step One - Take time to soak in your experience.
When something ends, there is always a reaction. It might be sadness at the end of a friendship or disappointment at the end of a job you love. On the other hand, there can also be the feeling of relief at the end of a long, frustrating struggle. Whatever your situation, please take time to acknowledge your feelings and let them settle before taking any significant actions or making drastic changes in your life.
Step Two - Allow time to stand still.
When something ends, there will be an empty space. An evening during the week that opens up and you’re not quite sure what to do with yourself; months of being alone after the end of a relationship; or not knowing how to reconnect and rebuild your social life after finishing your master’s program that consumed all your free time. If possible, try to think of this time as a container for healing, reflection, and rejuvenation. Listen to yourself more closely. Avoid the temptation to fill your life with unnecessary noise. Allow the silence and space to simply be there . . . until it isn’t.
Step Three - Move on before standing still turns into isolation.
When something ends, we can isolate and pull away from what we enjoy and some of our greatest sources of support. Standing still might be needed for a while. Yet, connection is one of the keys to a fulfilling life, so after you have allowed time for healing, reflection, and rejuvenation, step out a little at a time and start to engage in life again. Even if engaging is simply finding something you love to do in the afternoon when you used to take the art class you so enjoyed. Maybe it’s time to join a hiking club!
Endings can be challenging and tough; however, loving ourselves through them using these steps can make our endings a little less painful.
Until next time,
Annette and Ada