More Than Our Worst Day
Last Tuesday evening, as the attendees of our Enneagram 1 class were packing up to leave, we had a quick discussion that has stuck with us. To give you some context, we had just presented on Enneagram Type 2, detailing the healthy and unhealthy behavior patterns of people with this Enneagram Type. Our discussion began with someone commenting that it is sad that when people are unhealthy and behave in ways that do not serve themselves or others, the “good” they have done in their lives is forgotten or diminished.
As we’ve been discussing this between the two of us over this past week, we see that this is true . . . on both a personal level and in our relationships.
For example, we may devote ourselves to a specific cause or interest and be very helpful to others, and then one day, when we are tired and overwhelmed, we lose our temper and say things we don’t mean. For months afterwards – and even years – we beat up on ourselves and others remind us of our failure.
Or, someone may be extremely kind and thoughtful towards us for years, yet one day they shock us by being hurtful and vindictive. This one event can make it impossible to remember all the kindness they brought to our lives.
How would our lives, families, and communities change if, instead of judging ourselves and others based on our worst day, we extended compassion? Wouldn’t it feel different if we could remember the love we have within when we are disappointed in ourselves, replacing judgment with kindness and understanding? How different our relationships would be if we didn’t go into hate!
You may have heard, “hurting people, hurt people.” It’s true. They hurt themselves, those close to them, and sometimes perfect strangers. Of course, this doesn’t mean we allow bad behavior to continue, but wouldn’t our families, communities, nation, and even the world be a better place if we could respond from the mindset that a bad thing was done, as opposed to the person is bad?
We hurt ourselves when we stay in hate. And when we let unhealthy behavior tarnish all the good we or others do, no one gets the opportunity to be more than their worst day.
With love,
Annette and Ada