Bullying and Harassment: My Story

I have never publicly shared what I am writing about today; however, Ada and I believe the time is right to let you know what has been going on in our lives and what we have decided to do next.

22 years ago, I cut off all contact with my biological family. Every. Single. Person. I was 38 years old back then, and by the time I finally said enough is enough, I was very confident about what I was doing. I have never regretted my decision. Not for one moment.

In these last 22 years, I have done a lot of healing and have tried my best to share my healing journey with others. But sadly, in these last 22 years, the family bullying and harassment, which caused me to cut off all contact in the first place, has continued. Of course, not everyone in my biological family bullied me but walking away from the whole situation was what I needed to do.

Unfortunately, the bullying occurred again last week. On the Saturday after Thanksgiving, Don and I were relaxing and enjoying our day together when Ada alerted me that one of my bullies was back. This time spewing lies and delusional accusations on our Instagram page. I immediately felt for Don: When the family bullies rear their ugly heads, he is upset for days.

 Why won’t they leave us alone?
This is the only thing we have ever wanted.

Honestly, this time I was tempted to publicly call out this particular bully here and in other online spaces. I have all the evidence I need to show his years of bullying and harassment. However, after visiting with our Denver attorney, her counsel was not optimistic:

 Of course, since he posts on your Instagram page and other places online, you can legally expose who he is, what he has done to you for these past 22 years, and repost everything he has publicly posted. However, if you do, know that bullies don’t stop. They do not care about other people. Their only goal is to hurt you.

If he threatens you physically, law enforcement will take action no matter where he lives.

The hateful posts and other evidence are in the hands of our attorney for safekeeping, and law enforcement is aware of our situation. Additionally, we continue to build our defamation case.

Yet, it is pretty disturbing how the system works:
Bullies can bully for years and years until they die –
and their victims are forced to endure it.
Bullies must threaten physical violence or perpetrate physical harm before law enforcement can legally take action.
Defamation is proved only by financial loss.

This is why bullies continue their pathetic, sick, and twisted behavior.

As Don and I read the newest version of vile bully hate, we both felt sad. Sad because we have had to deal with this for so long, but also sad for other victims of family bullying who don’t have someone who loves them by their side as I do.

We also thought about the teens who are bullied on social media,
who end up taking their own lives, as seen in this CNN article only yesterday:

https://www.cnn.com/2021/12/05/us/racist-bullying-school-incidents/index.html 

Take it from me, constant bullying is stressful. It doesn’t matter if you are bullied on YouTube, Instagram, in person, or through years and years of hateful letters and voice messages filled with rage and wrath, victims of bullying and harassment live their lives on alert because they never know when their bully will reappear. Family bullying and harassment are even worse because you are incessantly bombarded with blaming and shaming for not doing what they want you to do.

More and more, Ada and I are hearing about family bullying from our clients. 

If you are the victim of family bullying and harassment, know you are not alone. If it is available to you, please reach out for support – even if you are scared or embarrassed. If you believe speaking up will put you in greater danger, contact authorities whose job it is to keep you safe. If you are not an adult, find an adult YOU CAN TRUST and ask them to advocate for you.

We created a new website: The Center for Victims of Family Bullying and Harassment. Ada is working on this now. We want to fill our new website with resources and support offered by professionals in various positions: We have started to reach out to law enforcement, lawyers, counselors, and other clinicians. If you would like to contribute to this resource, please CONTACT US. 

I am deeply saddened that people act with hate and try to destroy other people’s lives. It is even worse when you are related to them because you feel trapped. As victims, we must understand that WE GET TO DECIDE who has the privilege of being in our lives and that family bullies and harassers do not have the right to be in our lives simply because we are related to them.

THANK YOU to all our friends who are there for us when we reach out for support.
You know who you are, and we love you so very much. 

Annette