Lessons From 38 Years of Marriage
Earlier this month, Don and I celebrated our 38th Wedding Anniversary. We had a nice long chat about all the usual thoughts people have on such an anniversary:
Can you believe how fast these years have gone? It sure was nice having the kids and watching them grow. It was a lot of work, but it was worth it! There is so much to be grateful for all these years later . . . and on and on we talked.
Then we thought about WHAT made our marriage work – and we decided there were four essential factors.
WE’RE KIND – Through all the years, we have always been kind to one another. Even through challenging times, kindness is our foundation.
WE’RE POLITE – To this day, we are polite and courteous. This may sound a little strange or formal, yet it is the truth. Even on our worst day, there was an underlying sense of politeness, and I have to admit, Don is the reason for this one. It’s just the way he is!
WE’VE ALLOWED THE OTHER TO GROW AND CHANGE – This is especially important in a long-term relationship. People grow, change, learn, and change some more. Loving someone means we take delight in watching their journey as it unfolds. Don and I would never have stayed together if we insisted the other stay the same as they were when we met.
WE’RE FRIENDS – Last, but certainly not least, not only do we love each other, our friendship is the core of our relationship. When it is all said and done, we are friends. We can count on one another, we help each other out, we are honest, and we always work hard together and for one another.
Neither one of us is perfect, nor is our marriage perfect. However, these four characteristics have served us quite well since we met in 1980 – and we’re excited to see what the next phase of our marriage brings.
As a coach, I wanted to share this because it is important that I do my very best to live what I teach. If you are struggling in your marriage or know of a couple going through a difficult time, please share these four characteristics with them. They’re tried and true – and they work.
Lots of love,
Annette