I Burned Our Orchid!

Yesterday was a beautiful day! So beautiful, in fact, that before I left for work, I decided it would be the perfect day to set our beloved orchid plant outside. It has been in our bathroom for a number of years, and I keep repotting it because it always outgrows its pot, and its current pot is too big for our bathroom.

What gave me this idea was that many years ago, my husband Don and I toured a cacao farm on the island of Kauai, and I remembered all the gorgeous orchids growing there as well. My thinking in moving my orchid outside was that I would keep it in the shade, and it would love the outdoors.

Eeeekkkk! I was definitely very mistaken!

When I arrived home after work, our orchid’s beautiful green leaves were burned white, and many of them were wilted as well. I was heartsick – and I felt guilty for what I had done to such a lovely plant, which is more than a plant to me, actually. It is a reminder of my special trip to Kauai with Don.

I perseverated all night about what I had done, and the thought came to me that what happened to our orchid happens to all of us!

We ALL know that feeling of getting burned – by situations and by our perception of what others do. And it hurts! Some of us get burned so badly that we also wilt. We isolate ourselves, sabotage new relationships, and keep others at arm’s length, so we don’t get our hearts broken once again.

And then there are those of us who burn back! We become defensive, we attack, we shout, scream, and curse, projecting our hurt feelings out onto others because the heartache is just that, heartACHE. We hurt, and we burn, and we are miserable.

However, we don’t have to remain miserable nor does our orchid need to stay in a burned state.

All day today, I’ve been watering our orchid, and she is back in her favorite spot in our bathroom, where she loves the humidity and defused light. I gave her just a little fertilizer and even apologized. I’m moving toward forgiving myself, and it seems like she is forgiving me as well.

Our own recovery may not be as linear as the orchid’s, but the analogy fits. Like with the orchid, we will need to make changes, put in the time and effort to heal our hearts, and extend apologies and forgiveness. While we may not be able to go back to how we were before we were burned, we can reach a place of resolution, so we don’t have to carry the burden of being burned into the future.

Healing CAN come. Apologies CAN be made. Learning to communicate more effectively CAN happen, and love CAN be restored.

Here’s to healing our burns,
Annette