Our Message Can Get Lost in Our Delivery
Hello Friends -
We all have something important to say - each and every one of us! We have joys, hurts, pains, and celebrations we want and need to share with others. Our ability to communicate effectively makes this sharing possible.
For us, communication is everything, and it is the primary focus in our coaching for most of our clients.
As coaches, we have not met anyone who did not have something valuable to share. Yet, we have met plenty of people who share in such a way that it is hard for others to hear and understand them.
We find a good analogy in movies and music. Personally, we have many movies and songs whose messages speak to our hearts, but we do not recommend them to others because of the swearing, violence, or other graphic content in which their messages are packaged. We take our role as coaches and teachers very seriously, and we would never want to offend someone who comes to us for help and support.
There is an important lesson here: Our day-to-day communication with others is no different than movies and music. If how we communicate is off-putting, offensive, difficult to hear, or hard to understand, we will have a more challenging time getting the people who need to hear us to listen to what we have to say. Our message must be genuine and authentic to us as the speaker AND honor our listener.
It can be tempting to say that people just have to accept us the way we are – but truth be told, you can say that for the rest of your life, and if you do not communicate effectively, you will not be able to reach those you want to reach. When you speak in a manner that prevents others from hearing, they simply cannot hear you, accept you, or connect with you.
As in all aspects of life, we must be intentional. If you want to be heard and have connection with those in your life, it will be beneficial, before you have a conversation, if you define:
What do you want to say? - This is your message.
With whom do you want to connect? Your children, partner, boss, co-worker? - This is your audience.
Consider the specifics regarding how your audience communicates. For example, does your audience typically use or need:
Formal language?
Lots of humor?
Curse words for effect? A curse word every other word? No curse words?
Spiritual and religious language?
A place with no distractions?
To be out in nature for a serious talk?
Some activity around, like a coffee shop, when they share or hear what you want to share?
While staying true to yourself and being authentic, say what is on your heart in a manner that considers your audience. For instance, if your audience speaks in very formal language and you use a curse word every other word, you will not be heard. The opposite is also true.
It is vital that we are heard and understood and we hear and understand. We must be intentional in all of our communications - in our personal relationships, with colleagues at work, when we are talking with our neighbors or our children’s teachers, or even in situations such as discussing our deposit with the teller at the bank.
It is up to each of us to make sure we learn how to communicate.
There are many resources for learning how to communicate – and one of them is US! Please contact us if we can support you on your journey to improving your relationships with everyone in your life by learning how to speak to YOUR audience!
Wishing you a beautiful week,
Annette and Ada