The Difficult Things to Hear

It goes without saying that life is challenging and can oftentimes be hard to navigate. Whether in our professional or personal lives, most of us have experienced coming to a crossroads - where we must choose between honoring our own boundaries and values or choosing against ourselves.

Our choice could show up as a conversation about a sensitive subject. Or it may be in finding the courage to say no, uphold a boundary, or even end a relationship. Whatever it may be, if we haven’t had a lot of practice speaking up or have been challenged with codependency, saying what we need to say can be downright scary. And even if speaking up has never been an issue, coming to a crossroads can be a pretty unsettling time.

In our own lives and our coaching, we see many who are at a crossroads. We understand that life is not black and white, and there is a whole lot of gray – so we never say to ourselves or our clients that the only choice is x, y, or z. Instead, we simply attempt to bring awareness to the parts of life that do not contribute to happiness, connection, authenticity, belonging, and all the other important needs in life.

With this awareness, there always comes a decision point. While on the surface, it may seem easier to go along to get along, keep the status quo, or stay silent, these are only temporary solutions, and they only work for so long. We might have to ask ourselves: How many of my boundaries should I let get crushed? How many needs will I allow to go unmet before I finally say enough is enough?

It may sound a bit harsh at first; however, the way life works is that nothing changes unless we change it. We can be stuck waiting for a lifetime, hoping someone ELSE will be kinder, more respectful of our boundaries, and understanding of our needs and desires. However, in truth, the only thing we can change is – here comes that difficult thing to hear - ourselves.

Today, right this moment, WE can change. WE can have more inner kindness and respect right now! And we can take a good, long look at ourselves and see if WE need to be kinder and more respectful of others. As we take this good, long look, we might say to ourselves - or our coach, counselor, or confidant may say - the difficult thing to hear. Yet, being able to hear the difficult thing is a gift WE give ourselves because then WE can change.

Although all of this takes a ton of courage, both of us have learned and are still learning that these choices to do the work, change, and show up for ourselves are really the only choices that lead to true happiness and peace.