Facing Disappointment
As Friends of Annette and Ada, you know by now that we focus our whole life coaching on authenticity and vulnerability. While there are many benefits to authenticity and vulnerability, there undoubtedly comes a time when someone in our lives reacts to our authenticity and vulnerability in a way that is not kind, true, or necessary (see our May vlog for more about this concept). When this occurs, we can feel frustrated, upset, sad, and disappointed.
In some situations, the reaction to our authenticity and vulnerability can be so disheartening that we question whether we can ever mend the relationship. When this occurs, there is no quick or easy fix. We must go through a PROCESS of sorting through our feelings and allowing ourselves to experience our reaction. Sometimes, we may even go through a grieving process, mourning our hopes and desires for the relationship’s future. As is the case for all loss, our mourning must be allowed to take however long it takes, all the while guarding our hearts with love and acceptance.
During our sorting process, we must honor ourselves. Maybe there will temporarily be no contact with the other person. If this isn’t an option, perhaps we reduce the connection to what suits us and allows for healing. We might also continue to see the person yet carry with us what we’ve learned - that not everyone has the privilege to experience our full authenticity and vulnerability because they are not safe enough to honor these precious aspects of ourselves. In some situations, we may conclude that we must let this person go on with their life without us.
Whatever conclusion we come to as we work through our sorting process, it is important to remember that this process is a gift we give ourselves because we are allowing ourselves to SEE what is going on inside. When we DON’T take time to see, we are at the risk of building walls around ourselves so we don’t get hurt. Unfortunately, these walls can become a fortress, where nothing can get in, and nothing can get out either . . . and then we are stuck.
So, here’s to YOU supporting YOU as YOU work through YOUR SORTING PROCESS when YOU experience disappointment!
Please give YOURSELF permission to take as long as YOU need!
With love,
Annette and Ada