The Constancy of Change
Hello Friends,
Last week, we all welcomed summer, my favorite time of the year. While I have often dreamed of living where I could wear shorts and a t-shirt year-round, I think I am finally starting to appreciate the changing seasons here in Colorado. I am also making friends with the whole idea of change itself: Change in my life circumstances, my relationships, my environment, and most importantly, within myself.
What has taken me a lifetime to accept is that change is unavoidable. I like consistency. I like predictability. I especially like structure and no surprises. And while I like all of those things, when my happiness depends on them, I have found it extremely difficult to be happy because the only constant in life is change. Our careers change, our favorite neighbors move away, we get a promotion. Whether we see our changes as negative or positive, change is inevitable.
What has helped me the most in my relationship with unavoidable change is that at this point in my life, I have accepted that change is coming. Consequently, I am learning to do my best to appreciate each and every moment of my life and each and every relationship. The only guarantee is this present moment, and I am learning to enjoy each moment instead of worrying about what might end.
In addition to being unavoidable, change can be scary, beautiful, tragic, and even welcomed – and it can also take our breath away. When we experience a sudden change, it can stay with us for a long time. We may even suffer from anxiety when we’ve had too many changes too quickly or the changes were completely unexpected. For me, it seems that we really need to extend grace and compassion to ourselves and others when it takes time to recover from an unexpected change. There can be grief. Lots of grief. And for grief, the only thing that works is time and understanding.
What has helped me the most when I’m scared about change is to allow myself to feel what I feel. Denying fear, anxiety, sadness, or, depending on the situation, not allowing myself to feel happy can make change even harder. Change is part of life, and it is okay to react to life honestly and authentically.
Change is unavoidable, and no matter whether we experience the change as good or bad, change can still knock us off our center. So, if you are struggling with change at this time, please extend lots and lots of understanding and empathy to yourself.
Wishing you a beautiful week,
Annette